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Monday, October 29, 2012

"Eat Pray Love" ... the movie

I had planned to refrain my opinion until after I read the book as well, however I couldn't get the thoughts I wanted to pen out of my mind. Even as I type this, my mind is racing and my fingers are trying to keep up.
First off, story line aside, I love Julia Roberts. She is primarily the reason I wanted to see it.

Ok, so the story is of a woman who never did for herself, never took that time to find out who she was, who she wanted to be and who she could be away from other distractions. I completely find myself feeling this part so much. She put herself into all that was around her, or that one distraction. By distraction I mean that one thing that allowed her to hide herself. She was able to love others, but not herself. I have been in this spot so long and so many times that I thought I was watching me on that screen. When you devote your time, energy and love to one thing, completely losing sight of yourself, it is detrimental to your well being, period.

The woman goes on to walk away from what she thought she wanted after having a medicine man tell her she isn't happy. Having someone point out that you aren't what you think you are is quite an eye opener sometimes. It's easy to see things, justify them and push them away, unless someone from the outside points them out. It's hard to justify it to anyone other than yourself when something clearly makes no logistical sense. Are you happy, that is the question that popped in my head many times during that movie. At one point in time I was that woman telling myself I was happy a midst all the pain. It was easy for me to do it. I paid the consequences.

She then pours herself into food, oh what a glorious thought. To surround yourself with wonderful delicate meals and laughter. I see nothing wrong with that, until you go to put on your jeans. In moderation, all happiness is great. Too much of a good thing, can be a bad thing I think. She's utterly happy... with everyone and all the food, not with her.

She then moves to a life of selflessness, of giving and not taking. She lives without amenities in order to find inner peace. She chooses someone to picture happy, to find her inner balance. She attempts to align herself with herself. She meets someone who shares something that truly makes you appreciate life. I won't give that away, simply because I want others to enjoy this film. Plus, it makes me cry.

Finally she moves into the enlightenment phase. She is taught to love herself. Love her flaws, love her virtues, love her faults, love her strengths, grow from her weaknesses. She finally gets it, she gets that she has to push away those that could possibly make her stray (without their knowing) from strengthening herself. She learned that her strength is hers to make and hers to break. Letting someone in doesn't necessarily mean you become the wallflower again, doesn't mean you mold into an appendage to that person. Allowing someone to love you means that you let them love the real you, not the you that you think they want you to be. At no time should you change who you are to make another happy. You take the good with the bad, you take the arguments with the agreements, you take the fights with the make ups.

I didn't realize this, or didn't believe it years ago. I allowed myself to try to be what someone else wanted. I changed everything, down to my way of dressing, my choice of music and how I behaved. I became a doormat. I was walked on, kicked, hurt, lied to, cheated on and mentally abused. And just like Liz's character I moved from one bad relationship to another, changed myself from one thing to another. It wasn't until 2008 that I finally said it was enough. I didn't date, I didn't meet anyone, I did nothing but better myself internally. I'm still not 100% there, but I'm getting there. I still have the habit of changing myself, but I know the signs and know how to stop it. I wish I could say that I will no longer do this, but, lets face it, I doubt I will. It's a constant battle I have with myself. As much of a bitch as I come off to be, I'm not. I try to please everyone. It's just that after awhile of trying so hard, I snap and that is the bitch people see.

Finally, let me say this, I plan to read the book, but this movie made me laugh, made me cry and made me look at myself and my life. It made me ask, am I happy where I am? Am I happy with who I am with? Am I happy with the way I treat myself. I answered yes to all but the last. I still have a bad habit of doing more for others than I do for myself and I don't allow people to do for me. I do not like feeling like I owe anyone,  or that someone will hold something over my head.

So my review... watch the movie and read the book for yourself. If you think you can relate to me, then you can relate to Liz and I think it will be something that opens your eyes...

So, not what you were expecting was it?